Review of Lauren Mackler’s Solemate

January 4, 2011 by T.U. Dawood

Lauren Mackler has put her heart and soul into Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, a Hay House publication that walks readers through the importance of finding completion within oneself.  She believes that first one must be whole because connecting with others.

She shares her own life story and experience as a prelude and support to the exercise and the guidelines she shares to help readers achieve wholeness.

Chapters like “Uncovering Your Unconditioned Self” talk about how you are born full of all emotions and free to express them.  Growing up in a family unit starts affecting how you feel about your emotions and which you start expressing and most particularly repressing.  Unprogramming yourselves from this is a very challenging thing to be but can have immense rewards for through this effort you can discover what your true preferences are and then make decisions that are best for you, not what other people may think is best for you.

Mackler continues this process through her “Living Deliberately Versus by Default” chapter where she suggests:

• Sending loving messages to yourself
• Taking good care of yourself
• Do nice things for yourself
• Set boundaries with other people
• Become your own advocate
• Believe in yourself
• Be compassionate

She culminates these suggestions with her chapter “Bringing Your Vision to Life,” where she has created exercises to facilitate and expedite a reader’s achievement of the goals of the book. Exercise One identifies the most important attributes of your ideal life, Exercise Two teaches you how to write a Life Vision statement, Exercise Three identifies barriers you may face, Exercise Four helps you narrow an action plan to three specific goals, Exercise Five helps you develop a set of action steps to help you achieve those goals and Exercise Six facilitates the creation of a new life structure.

There is a lot of depth and immense soul in Solemate, and if you are able to read through the over 300 pages of text, you will emerge much more confident and happier about yourself.  The exercises to are useful, but definitely involve work and action on your part.  This is not the passive, lazy guide to loving yourself.  That being said, if you choose to walk through Mackler’s program, you will likely find yourself on the heels of a successful appreciation of yourself and a mastery of the Art of Aloneness. The perfect place to be if you want to fall in love.

T. U. Dawood is a freelance journalist. Check out her self-optimization website Preview Your Life.

Solemate Review by Joan Borysenko!

Solemate Review by Joan Borysenko! Author of It's Not the End of the World: Developing Resilience in Times of Change

“I had the pleasure to be on Lauren Mackler's Life Keys radio show (every Thursday 1-2pm EST) on HayHouseRadio.com. What a delight Lauren is. Smart, insightful, real, and full of excellent advice. Lauren is the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. The book is a real page-turner. Lauren's life story is riveting . . . from the magic of marrying a handsome young physician and moving overseas to recognizing that she'd lost herself in the needs of another. She came back to the States broke, dispirited, and with two kids to support. Lauren recovered from depression and became a celebrated therapist, author, and coach. She provides warm and wise advice about the core issues that prevent us from being happy and at home in our own skin. She's the real deal and I think you'll really enjoy her book.”

Solemate: 12-Session Teleseminar with Lauren Mackler

Teleseminar with renowned coach & bestselling author Lauren Mackler! Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life 12-Session Teleseminar with Lauren Mackler January 14-December 9, 2010 Format: Live Teleseminar

Regular Price: $240 Discounted Price: $199 If you purchase the program after the January 14, 2010 start date, you will receive access to previous sessions, following the purchase of the complete program.

Purchase the Teleseminar now and receive a discounted price of only $199!

Monthly Giveaway: Your name will also be placed in the virtual hat for a chance to receive one of the monthly gifts being offered by Lauren during this year-long program.

Are you ready to join renowned coach and bestselling author Lauren Mackler to achieve greater self-mastery and well-being? To find out, notice how many “yes” answers you have to the following statements:

___ I want to make changes in my life, but I don’t know where to begin. ___ I’m unable to move beyond my fears to pursue the life I dream of. ___ I feel dissatisfied with myself and my life. ___ I have difficulty following through on the goals I set for myself. ___ I often say or do things to get others’ approval. ___ I tend to make others’ needs more important than my own. ___ I’m settling for less than my heart’s desire. ___ I often feel overwhelmed and stressed. ___ I worry that I won’t be able to provide for myself. ___ I withhold my thoughts and feelings to avoid being judged or rejected. ___ I often have trouble controlling my emotions.    ___ I often feel alone and unsupported in my life. ___ I always keep myself busy or with people to avoid being alone. ___ I usually avoid conflict and have difficulty expressing anger. ___ I’m constantly striving for perfection, but nothing ever feels good enough. ___ I tend to withdraw and isolate myself. ___ I believe that if I could just find my soul mate, I’d be happy and complete. ___ I’m in a relationship, but I still feel lonely. ___ I feel unclear about my own interests and passions.

If you checked one or more boxes, make 2010 the year you create a life you love!  

Mastering the art of aloneness means:

• Loving, trusting, and accepting yourself.
• Being able to care for yourself emotionally and financially.
• Expressing your true feelings, thoughts, and needs with others.
• Feeling like a powerful, worthy, and deserving person.
• Treating yourself with compassion, love, and respect.
• Feeling whole and happy on your own or in a relationship.
• Sharing healthy and supportive relationships with others.
• Pursuing and achieving your own dreams and goals.

Self-mastery requires commitment, support, and practice. During this 12-session event, Lauren helps you master the art of aloneness by giving you concrete tools and skills to practice each month. Based on her Solemate book, Lauren guides you through 12 life-changing sessions that provide a clear road map for living a joyful and fulfilling life.

All sessions are from 7pm-8:30pm Eastern Time, 4pm-5:30pm Pacific Time

January 14, Session 1: Embracing Your Aloneness Mastering the art of aloneness is about developing a strong, healthy relationship with yourself, and achieving wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship.

February 11, Session 2: Uncovering Your Conditioned Self Uncover the core limiting beliefs and habitual behaviors that keep you from living the life you want.

March 11 , Session 3: Managing Fear So It Doesn’t Manage You Discover the underlying roots of the fears that keep you stuck, and tools for overriding them.

April 8, Session 4: Living Deliberately Versus By Default Learn about the 3 levels of creation and how to align your thoughts and actions with the results you seek.  

May 13, Session 5: Reclaiming Your Innate Wholeness Take action to reclaim your innate wholeness and become the person you were born to be.

June 10, Session 6: Becoming the Partner You Seek Instead of expecting someone else to make you whole, become the partner you seek. 

July 8, Session 7: Creating Your Life Vision Create a life vision that inspires you, and keeps you focused on your goals and priorities.

August 12, Session 8: Building an Inner Support System Build a strong inner support system that generates optimal health, energy, and resiliency.

September 9, Session 9: Building an Outer Support System Build a strong outer support system that helps you achieve your life vision.  

October 14, Session 10: Bringing Your Vision to Life Develop a concrete action plan to bring your life vision to reality.

November 18,  Session 11: Sustaining Your Commitment Sustain your focus, commitment, and motivation to stay on-course and achieve your life vision.

December 9, Session 12: Your Mastering the Art of Aloneness Tool Kit Use the practical tools you’ve learned when old patterns are triggered, or you’re faced with a life crisis or challenge. 

Purchase the Teleseminar now and receive a discounted price of only $199!

Watch Lauren speak about her work.