News & Media

Lauren's Interview - Job Hunting on the Sly

Job-hunting and interviewing for new positions while still employed full-time can be tricky. But in the increasingly competitive job market today, it's more common for employees to be constantly on the lookout for a more promising offer.

The sensitivity of job-hunting while employed--and keeping the process under wraps--varies from industry to industry. Dr. Robert Trumble, professor of management and director of the Virginia Labor Studies Center at Virginia Commonwealth University, says that it can also depend on the corporate culture. "In some, it could be the kiss of death," he says, while other fields such as the tech industry, where talent is at a premium and individual skills are highly appreciated, fielding outside offers is expected.

Lauren Mackler, a career and life coach and author of Solemate, frequently advises clients about how to best seek out new opportunities while holding a full-time job. Here are her top tips:

"To minimize risk of losing your current job control to whom and how your resume and cover letter are circulated," she says. Mackler advises against posting your resume publicly on job sites, as it makes it more likely that it will be spotted by your current employer. "When you do submit your resume let people know you're doing so confidentially, as you're still currently employed," she continues. Instead of letting a friend or a colleague submit your resume to a hiring manager or an inside company contact, request the person's contact information and submit your resume and cover letter yourself and use the person's name who referred you, Mackler suggests.

On the topic of confidentiality, Mackler adds that any contact information listed on your resume should be personal--personal e-mail, personal cell numbers, etc., and you should never include any contact information that's linked to your current employer. Running the risk of being contacted at work is bad form, she counsels.

Once your resume has made it through the preliminary screening, Mackler suggests you don't jump at any interview opportunity thrown your way. "Only take time off from your job to interview for positions in which you're seriously interested. The minute you start interviewing for a new job you're putting your current employment at risk," she cautions. The corporate arena can be a small world, and news could get back to your supervisor's office before you do.

Job hunting on the sly can involve the panicked closing of browser windows to keep your resume and applications from the eyes of supervisors, but in some instances, getting caught can work to your advantage. Ashley Campbell, then a mid-level producer at an ad agency in Boston, found herself in an awkward situation that turned out surprisingly well. "I had my boss on a project looking over my shoulder at something, I was clicking out of windows to get to a website build I was showing her, and boom! There was my resume." Click here to read the entire article by Meghan Casserly on Forbes.com.

Live Boldly with Lauren Mackler

Bestselling author and world-renowned coach, Lauren Mackler, is interviewed by CNN and talks about her journey starting as a fourteen year-old runaway, becoming a recording artist with the group Tuxedo Junction, then leaving the music business in 1982 to become one of the world’s leading authorities in personal and professional development. www.laurenmackler.com

Lauren Mackler - Living an Extraordinary Life

In this inspiring keynote presentation, Living an Extraordinary Life, renowned coach, radio show host, and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, talks about the hidden factors that keep a lid on your potential, and practical tools for liberating your innate potential and becoming the person you were born to be. www.laurenmackler.com

Lauren's Harvard Interview: Managing Up

Bestselling author, renowned coach, and keynote speaker, Lauren Mackler, is interviewed by Harvard Business School about managing up. Lauren Mackler is one of the foremost visionaries in the personal and professional development field today. She has risen to international prominence as the creator of Illumineering, a groundbreaking coaching method that helps people break free of their self-defeating patterns and achieve the results to which they aspire. Lauren is the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, fellow author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield, Stephen Covey, and Ken Blanchard, and host of the Life Keys radio show on Hay House Radio. Over the past 25 years, she has been a psychotherapist, corporate executive, Big Four consultant, and a leading authority in personal transformation, leadership, and professional performance. In 2001, she founded Lauren Mackler & Associates, integrating her diverse expertise to provide individual coaching, professional trainings, and keynote presentations that ignite people’s greatest potential. As a leading expert, Lauren is frequently interviewed by the media, a partial list of which includes CNN, FOX, The Wall Street Journal, London’s Daily Mail, NPR, Money Magazine, The Boston Globe, and Boston Business Journal. www.laurenmackler.com

Nurturing & Loving Yourself

Bestselling author and renowned coach Lauren Mackler talks about developing your "Inner Nurturing Parent" to build a strong, loving relationship with yourself and live a healthy, fulfilling, and self-sufficient life. Lauren is the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, fellow author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey, and host of the Life Keys radio show on Hay House Radio. www.laurenmackler.com.

Lauren's Harvard Interview: Difficult Conversations

Bestselling author, renowned coach, and keynote speaker, Lauren Mackler, is interviewed by Harvard Business School about how to handle difficult conversations and improve your communication style. Lauren Mackler is one of the foremost visionaries in the personal and professional development field today. She has risen to international prominence as the creator of Illumineering, a groundbreaking coaching method that helps people break free of their self-defeating patterns and achieve the results to which they aspire. Lauren is the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, fellow author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield, Stephen Covey, and Ken Blanchard, and host of the Life Keys radio show on Hay House Radio. Over the past 25 years, she has been a psychotherapist, corporate executive, Big Four consultant, and a leading authority in personal transformation, leadership, and professional performance. In 2001, she founded Lauren Mackler & Associates, integrating her diverse expertise to provide individual coaching, professional trainings, and keynote presentations that ignite people’s greatest potential. As a leading expert, Lauren is frequently interviewed by the media, a partial list of which includes CNN, FOX, The Wall Street Journal, London’s Daily Mail, NPR, Marie Claire, Ladies Home Journal, Parade, and The Boston Globe. www.laurenmackler.com.

Mastering the Art of Aloneness Interview on The Healthy Living Show

More people are living single lives than ever before. In the US today, there are 95.7 million singles, representing nearly half of all adults. Despite these numbers, attitudes have changed remarkably little. There's still a mid-set that if you're single there must be something wrong with you, and most people believe that marriage is the ideal lifestyle. On this episode, bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, is interviewed by host Brett Blumenthal about the stigma of aloneness and Lauren’s ground-breaking, step-by-step road map for gaining mastery of your own life, so you can achieve a sense of wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship. To listen to the one-hour interview, just click on the title link above.

Lauren's Interview on Inside Out Radio: 4/14/10

Listen Live! My interview with David Brown on Inside Out on Unity.FM. April 14th, 2010 @11:00 am EST, 8:00 am PSTDavid Matthew Brown is an Agape licensed spiritual practitioner and is currently running for peace. He is running in the Los Angeles marathon March 21, 2010, as the point man for the Peace Alliance’s campaign for a department of peace in America. David Matthew Brown has hosted the radio program Inside Out since 2007 and has interviewed more than 230 spiritual leaders with one question in mind: What does it mean to live from the inside out? He also facilitates meditation, stillness classes, playfulness workshops, mindfulness workshops, and does public speaking on living from within-out. He is a published writer and award-winning poet.

How to Build a Better Date for Singles and Couples: Lauren on QualityHealth.com

Read this article on QualityHealth.com. How to Build a Better Date: For Singles and Couples By Rosemary Black

The time is set, the meeting place arranged. The mirror confirms that your hair and outfit look great. Then what's with the butterflies in your stomach? The perfect date is well within your grasp, experts say, whether you're single or married. You just need to keep a few pointers in mind.

For Singles

If this is your first date, be aware that the guy or girl in question will draw certain conclusions about you within the first 30 seconds of meeting. "And a lot of this first impression will be based on appearance," says Lauren Mackler, coach, speaker and author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. "If you want to be perceived as successful, make an effort to dress that way."

Don't give away too much information about yourself too quickly. "Be honest, but be mindful and discerning about what is right and not right to share," Mackler advises. "Topics that are not acceptable on a first or second date include your financial situation as well as issues of low self-esteem that you are working on through therapy."

Keep in mind that, like it or not, you're sending certain messages to your date just by your actions. Say you're a guy and the check comes at the end of a restaurant dinner. You pick it up and start to pay, and your date doesn't even offer to split it. This is important information, Mackler says, to file away in your mind. "And if the guy picks up the tab and asks if you want to split it, just keep this in mind, too," Mackler says.

During the evening, notice small things, such as how much time your date is spending talking about himself or herself. Ask questions of your date, and don't just talk about yourself. Expect the other person to do the same. "If your date does not reciprocate by asking you questions about yourself, that is a red flag," ... Click here to read the entire article.

6 Reasons Why You Can't Leave a Loser: Lauren’s quotes on LifeScript.com

Read this article on LifeScript.com 6 Reasons Why You Can't Leave a Loser by Norine Dworkin-McDaniel

You know he’s not Mr. Right. He’s not even Mr. Right Now. So why can’t a smart woman like you ditch the loser? Read on to find out. Plus, rate your relationship with our quiz…

I was in college when an older man asked me out. We went to a concert (nice), then back to his place (predictable). By morning, I knew the relationship was a non-starter.

But his attention was flattering and I was between boyfriends. Before I knew it, my one-night stand turned into a year-long relationship. He even talked of marriage.

Right then, I should have cut and run. But I’d grown used to his loud, obnoxious behavior. And at least I had a date on Saturday nights.

I didn’t get my complacent butt out of there until he raised his hand to smack me during a disagreement. Though his hand never connected, that near-slap was just the push I needed.

Any sign of abuse (physical or emotional) is an obvious relationship deal-breaker. And the same goes for addictions of any stripe (drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling). But even without such problems, we often find ourselves spinning our wheels in dead-end relationships.

According to relationship experts, here are the 6 most common reasons we stay with men we’re just not that into:

1. My family made me do it. Blaming your issues on Mom, Dad, your siblings or the dog can get a little tired. But persistently picking Mr. Wrong does have a lot to do with your upbringing, therapists say.

“What happens in the family shapes how we see ourselves in the world, our core beliefs and our behaviors,” says life/relationship coach Lauren Mackler, author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life (Hay House). “Then we take those behavior patterns into adulthood... Click here to read the entire article.

Lauren on FOX: Hidden Drivers of Infidelity

(FOX 3/10) - Scum, sleaze, cheater -- we all have certain names we use to describe those who are unfaithful in their marriage. And there's been a lot of this going on, from Tiger Woods to John Edwards, to former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer, just to name a few. Yet, while one partner is labeled a villain, the other is a victim. However, Lauren Mackler tells us it may not that simple. Lauren Mackler, psychotherapist, coach and author of the international best seller "Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life," recently joined FOX Morning News to talk about the hidden drivers behind infidelity.

Women’s attraction may lie in immune system DNA

Read this article,  Women's attraction may lie in immune sytem DNA on m24Salud. Researchers from the University of Western Australia made a DNA study with 150 college students and they found that ‘the secrets of attraction are hidden in immune system genes that we inherit from our parents’.

Scientists can not ensure ‘why the strength of the immune system influences the women success in relationships’.

Furthermore they said that neither can fully explain “the relationship between the sweat, and the irresistible genes, but there is a clear possibility that there are clues in the genetic constitution of the women immune system’.

The more varied a woman’s histocompatibility, or MHC, genes are, the more attractive she appears to the opposite sex.

Another theory is that women with varied MHC genes could be more outgoing.

“It is possible that MHC-diverse women have more sexual partners because they actively seek more partners, rather than because males prefer diverse partners,” wrote the researchers.

Relationship expert Lauren Mackler says parents may affect how successful a woman is at finding a boyfriend – but not necessarily because of genetics.

“We are invariably attracted to people based on how familiar that person is to us from childhood,” says Mackler, author of “SoleMate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life.”

“As human beings, we are always seeking homeostasis, or balance, and looking for the parts of us that got lost as we grew up and had to adapt to the family system. So we’re attracted unconsciously to the people who embody these traits. We are looking for our other half and may not always find him.”

Becoming the Partner You Seek: Interview with Lauren on HealYourLife.com

Lauren Mackler, bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, renowned coach, and relationship expert, talks about mastering the art of aloneness and becoming the partner you seek. Lauren has risen to international prominence as the creator of Illumineering, a groundbreaking coaching method that integrates family systems work, psychodynamic psychology, and coaching to help people free themselves from the shackles of their life conditioning, and create the personal and professional lives to which they aspire.

Lauren in NY Daily News on Tiger Woods sex addiction treatment

Read this article by Rosemary Black on New York Daily News. Overcoming sex addiction is frequently a long, painful struggle that can detour into relapse and not infrequently end with the implosion of a marriage, experts say.

In Tiger Woods’ case, the fact that he has signed in to intensive inpatient therapy means he’s committed to getting better, but the healing process won’t be anywhere close to finished by the time he leaves the Mississippi facility where he’s reportedly staying.

Inpatient sex addiction rehab, says Leslie Seppinni, Ph. D., is often an intense several weeks or months during which the person tries to learn alternative strategies for dealing with stress through therapy and journaling.

“It can be incredibly helpful and life-changing,” Seppinni says. “When you are dealing with the fallout from your behavior, intensive inpatient therapy can help you get the coaching strategies you need so you can go back into the world, having gotten to the core of some of your emotional problems.”

Outpatient treatment is still needed, she says, and relapse is common.

“There is a high percentage of people who relapse,” Seppinni says. “Every once in a while, the addiction rears its ugly head again. People expect some relapse.”

Some experts question whether sex addiction is even a real disorder, and it may not be listed in the fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s widely-used Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Sex addiction is real, but Tiger Woods doesn’t have it, according to Danine Manette, author of “Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity.”

“Tiger Woods is no different from Alex Rodriguez, Tom Brady or any other professional rich man who surrounds himself with unlimited women,” she says. “It’s horrible because he’s married and is now violating the commitment that he made to his wife. But it’s not sex addiction.”

True sex addicts experience personality changes, are unable to function in the outside world and may substitute pornography for contact with real people, she says. Intensive inpatient therapy may be appropriate for them, Manette says.

“But people like Tiger Woods go into treatment because they believe that if they show they are working on something, people will be willing to reinvest in them,” she says. “The reality is that Tiger has no self control.”

Still, proponents of sex addiction therapy say it can work - if it targets the person’s underlying issues and doesn’t focus on the addiction as a sickness that was present all along.

An addict always seeks relief from emotional pain, explains relationship expert Lauren Mackler, and if the treatment plan doesn’t include ways for the client to cope with that pain, it will be ineffective.

One of Mackler’s clients had been a sex addict for 11 years, she said, and had bought into the idea that “he was what he was,” she says. He felt that the best way he could manage his addiction was to have online sex rather than an actual sexual relationship, and had tried one therapy group after another.

He had not ever tried dealing with his emotional burden, which included a critical and demanding father, Mackler said. When he was able to work through childhood issues, that helped with his sexual issues.

Treatment for sex addiction, Mackler says, is usually sought by a person only when he is caught.

Click here to read more.

Lauren's Interview about the Solemate Book

Lauren Mackler, bestselling author, life coach, and relationship expert, talks about her personal journey that inspired her bestselling book, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life and workshop. Drawing from her own experiences; those of her coaching clients; and the fields of psychology, physiology, sociology, holistic healing, and strategic business practices, Lauren has developed a unique program for reclaiming your innate wholeness. This gradual, stepbystep process involves understanding where your selfdefeating patterns come from and how to move beyond them. She helps you uncover and retrieve your authentic self—who you really are beneath the layers of life conditioning. Laurens groundbreaking program will help you live in a more conscious and deliberate way, move beyond your self-defeating patterns, and become the person you were born to be.

The Critical Factors for Success: Interview with Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler, bestselling author, renowned coach, and relationship expert, talks about the most critical factors in achieving success. Lauren Mackler is one of the foremost visionaries in the personal and professional development field today. She has risen to international prominence as the creator of Illumineering, a groundbreaking coaching method that integrates family systems work, psychodynamic psychology, and coaching to help people free themselves from the shackles of their life conditioning, and create the personal and professional lives to which they aspire.