The 2020 global lockdown was a catalyst for me to discontinue physical resistance to aging. I stopped getting botox and after 45 years of a nearly-daily make-up routine, I now wear it only for media work.
I spent a lifetime concerned about my looks, a legacy inherited from my southern-belle mother, who maintained a meticulous movie-star appearance right up to her death at 84.
Despite my presentational devotion, like many females who based her worth on mimicking Barbie or a Playboy Bunny, I never thought I was pretty, sexy, or desirable enough—a feeling that many females in our society are conditioned to internalize. No wonder the beauty industry generates nearly $600B per year!
Instead of expending energy on the preservation of a youthful appearance, my focus is now on the practice of good self-care to age as healthily, joyfully, and independently as possible. This includes daily 4-5 mile walks; a nightly eight hours of sleep; a healthy, clean diet; a daily gratitude practice, and maintaining as low-stress a lifestyle as possible in this increasingly crazy and stressful world.
In a country obsessed with physical beauty and youth, gracefully and even enthusiastically embracing aging isn’t an easy feat. The influences to keep up the youthful battle abound. Peer pressure—even into our golden years—is still a thing. Seeing a 50+ female performer who looks her age is rare. And those who do are judged or mocked for the natural physical loss of their youthful appearance.
I now live on the east coast, where it’s relatively easier to embrace aging than in places like Los Angeles, where nearly everyone has had work done to preserve their youth as long as possible. I notice that when I’m in LA, old feelings of not looking good enough get triggered more than anywhere else. So I have much respect for women like Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson who choose authenticity over conventional wisdom, and embrace the beauty of their aging selves.
I want to be clear that I’m not advocating that others should adopt my point of view. Nor do I judge anyone who chooses plastic surgery or less invasive modalities for the preservation of a more youthful appearance.
We are all under the influence of a society obsessed with physical youth and beauty. I myself wanted a boob job two weeks into a visit to LA in 1990 and I considered getting a facelift more than once up until several years ago.
None of us are immune to aging and the loss of our youthful bodies. But how we perceive and respond to this reality can make the difference in the quality of the middle and later chapters of our lives. Do we expend our precious life energy fighting an ultimately losing battle with the natural physical aging process? Or do we embrace aging as a friendly liberator from the conditioned mental patterns and behaviors that diminish our inner peace and joy?
For me, it’s a no-brainer. I’m done fighting. I choose the inner peace and joy.