Are you often emotionally reactive or feel chronically stressed? If so, you’re not alone. According to a 2024 survey by the American Psychological Association, 77 percent of American respondents reported experiencing significant chronic stress in their lives.

Stress is an emotional and physical reaction caused by our responses to life challenges. And while the increasing number and severity of current adversities affect us all, there is no universally accepted definition of stress and each person reacts differently. Our responses to stress vary based on our innate personality traits, experiences, circumstances, and our childhood conditioning and role models. What is overwhelming for one person may be embraced as a growth opportunity to another, while that same situation may have much less impact on someone else.

In small amounts, stress can be a positive impetus. It can evoke action, serve as a wake-up call for self-evaluation and greater prioritization, and motivate you to learn new life and self-management skills. But chronic stress can have many adverse effects, including irritability, depression, headaches, gastrointestinal problems, sexual dysfunction, substance abuse, depletion of the immune system, and even life-threatening illness.

The best antidote to stress is resilience. Resilience means having the ability to respond to change or adversity proactively and resourcefully. It involves a process of consciously drawing on the beliefs, behaviors, and skills that can help you respond to challenges effectively, and move through them as a stronger person.

Findings from the famous Kauai Longitudinal Study by Emmy E. Werner showed that resilient people did not passively react to negative life circumstances, but proactively took action to achieve positive outcomes. Instead of staying stuck in feelings of anger, fear, or anxiety, step back and ask yourself, “What reaction am I having, how do I want to respond, and what outcomes do I want?” Next, brainstorm possible courses of action, determine those most likely to produce desired outcomes, prioritize your next steps, then move into action.

Below are some additional tips to develop greater resilience and to help you manage stress.

Accept the new change that is. Instead of denying or resisting its presence, accept that it is part of your new reality. Every time you find yourself holding on to what was, say to yourself, “I release the past, use this current reality to face new challenges, cultivate new strengths, and show up in the world in the best ways I can.” The foundation of resilience is accepting change as an inevitable part of life. Fighting it not only produces frustration, but it keeps you from taking action and moving forward.

Identify the opportunities inherent in the challenge. There is much truth in the old adage of what does not kill us makes us stronger. To help you turn a stressor into an opportunity, write down the specific situation causing you to feel stressed. For example, “I’m worried I’m going to lose my job.” Next, write down how you can turn your concern into an opportunity. For example, you could get your resume updated and start networking to find that new job you’ve been dreaming about for the last two years. Or in the face of an uncertain economy, you can respond by reducing expenses, learning better money management skills, and simplifying your life.

Develop greater awareness and self-mastery. The more awareness and self-mastery you have, the greater your resilience. Personal development has many benefits, one of which is gaining greater clarity about your reactive patterns and how they may be negatively impacting your life. Finding good resources to change habitual, limiting patterns will not only transform your life, but it will provide you with effective life skills to draw upon in these difficult times.

Build a strong inner support system. Despite the deluge of information about the link between diet and health, most people don’t actively embrace that they are what they eat. Your body runs on fuel in the form of food, and if the fuel you put in your body is not healthy, you can’t expect your body to produce optimal wellness. A diet low in nutrients can deplete your reserves of vitamins and minerals, making it even more difficult to manage stress. Reduce or eliminate caffeine, sugar, and alcohol, and replace fatty meats and processed foods with fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grains, lean meat and fish, nuts, seeds, and legumes.

Change is part of the human condition and no one is exempt from fear, emotional pain, and adversity. Developing resilience is a foundational life skill, one that we all need more than ever in today's world. With inner resilience, we're able to not only accept and face these challenges head on, but it allows us to attain greater wisdom and strength in the process.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:

Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach and author of the international bestseller Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. Sign up for her free Live Boldly e-newsletter at www.laurenmackler.com.