Eat Your Chocolate! - Valentine’s Day is nearly here and I have some great news: eating dark chocolate on a regular basis may help reduce your likelihood of developing heart disease. Some of the compounds in dark chocolate, called flavanols, affect two major risk factors for heart disease: high cholesterol and blood pressure. Dark chocolate may also help reduce body inflammation, which is part of the body's natural immune response to germs and other harmful elements. However, chronic inflammation can damage tissues and cells, and can even increase the risk of some health conditions, including arthritis, type two diabetes, and some types of cancer.
Upcoming Events
SOLEMATE: MASTERING THE ART OF ALONENESS
2/1/20 Introductory Sampler - 3/28/20 9am-6pm One-Day Intensive Workshop
Many people wait for a soul mate to complete them, or settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. In this life-changing, day-long workshop, renowned coach, CNN commentator, bestselling author of “Solemate” and co-author of “Speaking of Success” with Stephen Covey and Jack Canfield, Lauren Mackler, presents her groundbreaking roadmap to achieve mastery of your life, and greater wholeness alone or in relationship. In Natick, MA. Participant number is limited and your spot is confirmed only upon advanced payment of tuition. For those interested in this workshop, a mini sampler is 2/1/20 in Cambridge, MA.
Recipe for Optimal Living
Schedule Some “Me” Time - Open your planner and book a date with yourself. Carving out time for yourself is not selfish. It’s impossible to have good relationships with others if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. After work or on the weekend spend time doing a hobby you enjoy or taking a walk in nature. Reflect on your goals, assess your needs, or do something that makes you feel good. Spend Friday night in your favorite PJ’s with a good movie. Scheduling “me” time is an important part of maintaining healthy physical and mental balance. Making it part of your weekly schedule is a great way to bring self-nurturance and self-care into your life on an on-going basis.
Give the Gift of Growth for the Holidays!
If someone you love is going through a life transition, having relationship issues, seeking a career change, or wanting to further develop themselves personally or professionally, give them the gift of growth with an Illumineering Coaching Gift Certificate!
ABOUT ILLUMINEERING COACHING
When we're born, we are whole human beings with tremendous potential. Growing up, we respond to our conditioning by adopting thought and behavior patterns, some of which limit our potential. These patterns follow us into adulthood, and create our stories about ourselves, relationships, personal lives, and careers. Illumineering is a groundbreaking integration of psychology and coaching to help you create a new story—to liberate your potential and achieve the results you want.
Solemate Workshop in Boston!
SOLEMATE: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life
Saturday 3/28/20 - 9:00am-6:00pm
Day-long Workshop Intensive with Lauren Mackler
For people who are single, widowed, divorced, or seeking greater independence and wholeness within their partnership.
Are you ready to gain mastery over your own life? Many people spend years waiting for a soul mate to make them feel complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Instead of depending on someone else to make you whole, take a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, empowerment, and well-being—on your own or in a relationship.
Using experiential exercises, visualizations, journaling, and group processes, this groundbreaking experience with renowned Illumineering Coach, psychotherapist, and bestselling author Lauren Mackler inspires you to become the partner you seek.
Surviving Family Stress Over the Holidays
Out of all the relationships we have in our lives, the ones we share with family members can be the most challenging. And there's nothing like holiday stress to trigger the old wounds and unresolved issues that plague so many families.
Sharing close, loving, and supportive relationships is a basic human need, yet many of our family relationships fall short of this ideal. Most families have some level of dysfunction, with each member playing his or her part. Becoming aware of your own family dynamics—and consciously changing behavior patterns that create conflict—will help you avoid the interpersonal "land mines" that are often triggered in the midst of holiday stress. Below are some practical tips to help you make the holidays a time of joyful celebration, instead of fodder for unpleasant family feuds.
Lauren in the Media
Mastering the Art of Aloneness Radio Interview
If you missed my 12/4/19 live radio interview with host Diane Ray, you can download and listen to the podcast. I talked about the key elements of a healthy relationship with yourself, and concrete strategies for managing fear, and becoming whole and happy on your own and in relationship.
Recipe for Optimal Living
Volunteer!
By helping others you help yourself. Volunteering is a great way to be active, socialize, and build confidence. A report by Volunteer Match and United Healthcare showed that 73% of volunteers reported reduced stress levels, 89% said it improved their well-being, and 92% experienced a greater sense of purpose. Serving others boosts your self-esteem and fosters a positive attitude in other areas of your life. People who volunteer regularly have a lower mortality rate and it’s been shown to lessen symptoms of chronic pain and heart disease. There are hundreds of organizations looking for volunteers, especially during the holidays. Your help can really make a difference to them and to you.
Solemate Workshop in Boston!
FINALLY! For the first time, Lauren Mackler will offer her Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life workshop intensive in the Boston area, at Roots & Wings Healing Center in Natick, MA!
March 28, 2020, 9am-6pm (please note new date)
For people who are single, divorced, or seeking greater independence within their partnership.
Are you ready to gain mastery over your own life? Many people spend years waiting for a soul mate to make them feel complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Instead of depending on someone else to make you whole, take a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, empowerment, and well-being—whether you’re living on your own or you’re in a relationship.
Recipe for Optimal Living
Develop Your Inner Nurturing Parent
If you think about it, you may discover that you don’t treat yourself very well. You may break promises to yourself, eat poorly, or engage in unsupportive relationships. In fact, if most people treated others the way they treat themselves, they wouldn’t have too many friends! To begin treating yourself better, here is a tool I write about in Solemate: your “Inner Nurturing Parent.” Instead of judging yourself, send loving messages to yourself like, “I love and appreciate who you are.” When you do something well, pat yourself on the back and say out loud, “Great job! I’m so proud of you.” Get in the habit of doing nice things for yourself. Make a cup of tea with the nurturing energy you’d have when preparing tea for someone you love. Make your bed for yourself every day.
Lauren Recommends
Hands to Heart: Breathe and Bend with Animal Friends
Written by Alexandra Bauermeister; Illustrated by Flora Waycott
I am thrilled to share with you this beautiful yoga and mindfulness book (written by my yoga therapist daughter) that encourages young readers to breathe, slow down, and move into gentle, playful poses as they ease into a practice of meditation. With a gentle reminder for children to breathe and connect to their bodies, the book contains a sweet cast of animal friends to guide young readers from one yoga pose to the next. From reaching your hands up to the sky to stretching like a cat to pressing up like a cobra snake, each posture helps to control breathing, engage in the present moment, and lead towards greater calmness and peacefulness. The soothing, rhythmic text paired with playful illustrations make this book perfect for young readers ready to interact with yoga poses and practice mindfulness.
New Solemate Audiobook!
SOLEMATE: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life
NEW AUDIO BOOK!
This international bestseller, now available as an audiobook, is about mastering aloneness but it’s not about being alone. It's a practical roadmap for achieving mastery of your life so you can have greater wholeness and joy on your own or in a relationship. Based on Lauren’s Mastering the Art of Aloneness workshop, Solemate provides life-changing tools to create and live a fulfilling, successful, and financially secure life with or without a partner.
Manage Anger So It Doesn't Manage You
Anger is a normal and very human emotion. But few people have been taught how to effectively express and manage anger. Instead, we learn how to deal with anger by our parents’ role modeling, and by how our parents reacted to our own anger growing up. We may have been taught to rationalize our anger away, blame or verbally attack the person who “made us” angry, or withdraw and avoid the other person—and our anger—altogether.
In a healthy family, the parents accept anger as a normal emotion that needs to be discharged. But in a family where anger is taboo, those feelings can’t be expressed. If someone grows up in that type of family, they may develop a habit of internalizing their anger. Or they may react by outwardly expressing it in destructive ways—maybe through an explosive temper or through passive-aggressive behavior in which they express anger by being critical, sarcastic, judgmental, or oppositional.
Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness Workshop in Boston!
FINALLY! For the first time, Lauren Mackler will offer her Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life workshop intensive in the Boston area, at Roots & Wings Healing Center in Natick, MA!
March 28, 2020, 9am-6pm
For people who are single, divorced, or seeking greater independence within their partnership.
Are you ready to gain mastery over your own life? Many people spend years waiting for a soul mate to make them feel complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Instead of depending on someone else to make you whole, take a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, empowerment, and well-being—whether you’re living on your own or you’re in a relationship.
Upcoming Events
Living Fearlessly 10/17/19 – 6:30pm-8pm
What would you do if you were fearless? Fear is one of biggest barriers to creating a life aligned with who you really are and the vision to which you aspire. Lauren Mackler, a world-renowned coach and psychotherapist, CNN commentator, and best-selling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, will help you uncover the roots of the fears that keep you stuck and offer practical tools for overriding fear and making your dreams and goals a reality.
No is the New Yes
Do you avoid expressing yourself from fear of disapproval, rejection, or conflict? If so, you’re not alone.
In my Illumineering Coaching practice, I work with high-functioning, successful people doing interesting things in the world. And yet, the majority of them were conditioned to believe that saying no, setting boundaries, or sharing real feelings and needs will threaten or even extinguish relationships.
More often than not, the opposite is true. When we say no, set boundaries regarding things that don’t work for us, and authentically express what we need or feel, we’re actually taking action to strengthen and preserve our relationships. Why? Because when we withhold our truths or agree to something we don’t want to do, it’s a form of self-betrayal that ultimately leads to negative outcomes. These can include resentment toward others, judgment or anger imposed upon ourselves, or passive aggressive behaviors like avoidance or sarcasm.
Recipe for Optimal Living
The Transformative Power of Pets
Pets can have an enormous impact on how we feel and how we live. They can improve our emotional and mental well-being, reduce anxiety levels, fight depression, and even enhance our physical health. My own dog, a sweet little Bichon, has brought tremendous joy to my own life, and she is a shining example of what it means to love unconditionally. As a busy professional, I always have a lot on my plate. My dog helps to keep me balanced and stay connected to the spontaneous, playful part of me.
New SOLEMATE Audiobook!
This international bestseller is now an audiobook! Lauren Mackler’s road map for gaining mastery of your own life, and greater wholeness and joy on your own or in relationship. Instead of expecting someone else to complete you, become your own cherished solemate. Using information, quizzes, and real-life examples, this print and audio book help you override limiting patterns, and live more fully as the person you were born to be.
Decision-Making: Emotion Versus Intuition
It’s been a while since my last newsletter. I’ve been especially busy the past few months, due to a sudden and unexpected move into a new home, a new office, and a brand-new town!
Making decisions regarding major life changes—especially those initiated by others—can be daunting. When I found out last winter that I had to move due to changes in my building, my first reaction was resistance. With 34 moves under my belt, yet another one was unappealing, to say the least. My next feeling was dread followed by overwhelm. I loved where I lived and my beautiful home office. Where and how would I find another place as nice?
Lauren Recommends
BROKEN OPEN: Embracing Heartache & Betrayal as Gateways to Unconditional Love
Broken Open by my friend Mal Duane is about finding wholeness, forgiveness, and unconditional love for yourself and others after experiencing the deep wounds of betrayal. The book includes the powerful self-inquiry questions and spiritual practices that helped Mal heal her own broken heart, and shares her life story with authenticity courage, and vulnerability. A powerful and inspiring book for anyone who has experienced a broken heart.